Tjugotvå

If you dream of watching a hare as it gets brutally mutilated by a predator and is brought into an extremely painful and insanely slow death, staying alive much longer than it should and being obviously tormented, you will be thrown into a horrible void-like lonelyness since you forgot Tudden at home. Yes, that is my pillow. Yes, I’ve been without it for a few hours and I already miss it. Don’t expect any dreams from me for a week.

Tjugoett

If you dream of having friendly fights and wrestling with your friends, you’ll have to endure the pains and bruises from the friendly fights that actually took place the previous day.

Vetenskapligt experiment på Stefan

Efter en diskussion om det är möjligt att fortfarande uppfatta saker (och typ vara vid liv) efter att kroppen avlägsnats från huvudet, bestämde vi oss för att testa, och Stefan var frivillig. Tyvärr visade det sig att man tillslut dör i alla fall… och det är svårt att veta om någon är vid medvetande och kan uppfatta sin omgivning när de giljotinerats. De kan ju liksom inte svara precis.

Tjugo

If you dream that you are having dinner with Silvio Berlusconi (and you get the feeling you’re having dinner with someone like Dracula who will drink your blood before you can go home) and all the glass and china is black, and you sit opposite to him and he keeps watching you and force you to drink a lot of bad tasting liquor and eat raw pig intestine, the bug in the bottle in your window will suddenly get cancer and die immediately. (It was not my fault, must have been the cancer.)

Here’s your fucking monkey

This is what Anna finally made… Lazy ass.

Bananas

Bananoholism

I know we talk a lot about bananas here and mostly about how good they are, though there is also a dark side of the banana. This is something monkeys hardly discuss, yet it’s a growing problem.  Some monkeys have serious issues caused of this wonderful but treacherous yellow fruit. I just wanted to remind you that we do not encourage that behavior here, and we wish that those of you who have problems seek the help you need. Everyday there are monkeys dying, monkey families are shattered, monkeys get violent and many accidents happen all because of monkeys who can not handle bananas.

So, to all banana craving monkeys out there I just want to say:
Be careful and take care of yourselves and the monkeys around you. The first step is to admit that you have an addiction.

/MB

Nitton

If you dream of peeing, further dreaming of waking up and discovering that you wet your friends mattress, you will have a horrid encounter with the first moth of the year, and you will get soap in your eyes as you try to constantly keep an eye at the vile creature while taking a shower.

Arton

If you dream that you are drowning in the banana muffins you have to make to keep the Easter bunny from eating you, you will meet a jackass, a nice lady and your back won’t hurt as much as the day before. (explanation: the nice lady will help you to make copies of the book that makes your back hurt, so now you don’t have to carry it around… thanks to the jackass who refuses to help you, that’s when you go to find the nice lady, you will almost not catch the train home)